It’s not yours, so give it up. Part 2

This is part 2 of this email and I will share what I learned about giving up what’s not

mine to have, how to know and the price for ignoring it.

I am diving right in. If you haven’t read part 1, go here.

When I first felt my wings they were tightly bound. Restricted.

I didn’t know they were wings but I knew I felt trapped.

If I knew then what I know now, I would have gone through a process of elimination,

but I didn’t know it then so I up and left the life I was creating. All of it.
Fiance, houses cars, dogs, business, life plans.

I kept going back and forth to him and that life, for next 7 years.
Until he got pregnant and decided to marry the soon to be mother of his child.

I was relieved, I no longer had to keep choosing and questioning.

He made the choice for me, I was free to move on.
And, it came with a price I have been paying since.

I stayed in jobs too long. Kept friends too long.

Went on 3rd, 4th, 5th date, months into dating realizing that I knew on the 2nd date,

it was not the right person for me.

The price I have been paying – time, self respect, self doubt, breaking trust in my intuition.

My wings stayed in bondage for as long as I kept clinging to what no longer worked for me.

True freedom comes when we can finally trust ourselves.

You will hear me say “nothing is a mistake, it is all a lesson”. Yes, true.

Ask me on my dead bed how many lessons I wish I learned the first time

around.

Feeling of betray was me betraying myself, my inner knowing.
Something was taken away too soon, I had no choice in the matter, was really me not doing it when I knew it was time.
My choice to end it was taken away, by me, by delaying.
Victimhood, was me giving away the power to end what I knew has expired.

Here is what I know right now and what I vowed to trust myself with:

1. Trust myself when I feel that something is not right for me.
It may take time for me to acknowledge it fully and know what I need to do and that’s ok.

2. If I push it away and it keeps coming back to me, it is mine to experience.

    If I push it away and it leaves, I let it go.

3. If I have to make a list of pros and cons, I probably already know the answer, but

    need “reasonable” reasons. This is in case people ask me if I really thought about it.

4. If I wait for somebody else to make the decision for me (like my ex-fiance), I will

    pay the price. Part of me will feel betrayed. Part of me will feel like a victim. Both will eat away at my confidence. Not fun.

5. If I leave when I know I need to go (no matter how hard), I will question it. Especially

    if things don’t start working out for me immediately. It’s ok, make a list of pros.

6. Everything is energy. The longer I hold onto the form that no longer serves me,

    the longer I block what will serve me, from coming in. I trust that something is always waiting to come in, it just needs space.

7. I know best what is best for me. Always. It’s ok to ask people I trust so I can get

    perspectives I may not have considered. And, I know best what is best for me.

8. I TRUST ME. no matter what. even when it hurts my heart.

9. I toss a coin. This test beats all above. Seriously, try it. I toss the coin!
Heads = stay/keep, Tails = leave/let go. I toss.

    How do I feel about the result?

10. Make a list of all the things you will be free to do and experience when it is out of your life.

I know by now you know that thing you have been holding onto for too long. I know you know.

Anna